Sunday, September 11, 2016

They Are Back...Well...!

Hello World...yes, it's me and me I am! I am he and he is back...! Yes, I am rambling (see my description in about me)!

Well, let's get right to the point of this post. I am writing here and now, now is a very difficult time for oh so many reasons. Most of the reasons are centered around physical and mental anguish. I am NOT at a place where I am mentally unstable, quite the opposite. I have clarity of mind so clear, so poignant, so painstakingly pinpoint accurate. What do I mean, you ask? Yes, I would be asking too. 

Well, it is like this. I am in pain, pain daily. A daily dose of life with my constant companion; chronic pain! Yes, he, she, it, whatever the correct descriptor may be; it is simply put...painful. I am rambling seemingly without purpose; however, in my mind my purpose is clear. "To write, to numb my constant companion; you got it...PAIN! I really do not know what to do with the p-word...pain, that is. I take medication, I attempt exercises to relieve pain and its associated stress. And, what do I get in return; you read my mind...yes...more pain. It's a vicious cycle with seemingly no end in sight. What is a person to do, I ask you? Please share your strategies, your words of wisdom and comfort. I need them more now than ever. 

So, in the meantime, here I am pecking away at the keys. A seemingly meaningless task; yet as many of you know; writing or the expression of one's feelings and emotions through this art form can be a joyful event. And yes,I am enjoying it in a sense and I am in pain writing. My shoulders are aching, my left hand is getting numb, no, it's numb...the carpal tunnel I am told. The IBS...that is irritable bowel syndrome has my stomach cramping; ouch, ooowee; painful! Cervical disc degeneration, fibromyalgia, sciatica, heel and bone spurs in my feet, migraine headache, post traumatic stress, traumatic brain injury, hypertension, diabetes, and the hits keep on coming. When will it get better? What is the purpose of all this? To build character...hmmmm.... Then I am the proverbial definition of character. 

Today, I was just tired of giving in to my dear old companion...pain. So. I went on a trip to a nearby military installation to "window shop". It was a spiritually joyous occasion. And yes, it is/was painful. Yet, I feel a sense of accomplishment because I overcame my innate desire to curl up and attempt to sleep through another day filled with guessed it...pain. However, I cursed the pain and took it on a road trip...smiling... And yes, I am unable to sleep after roughly three hours in a vehicle earlier. Yet, spiritually speaking, I feel a sense of gratitude in getting out and about. And after many months of wanting to I am "back in the BLOGGER saddle"!

Yes, hello world...pain and I are back. Peace be forever unto you. And for you fellow chronic pain-sufferers; keep in touch and never, and I mean never, ever let chronic pain get you to a low point, as I have in the past by sitting and letting life slip away and pass on by. 

Get up, get involved in life, and have fun. You will not regret it! Do YOU!

Peace and much love...Samuel

Friday, December 5, 2014

"Right Now!"

Many times, when inspired, I write. When I hurt, I write. When I'm motivated, I write.

I write to express in a therapeutic way (for me definitely; for you, hopefully) the good, the tough, and the terribly painful insights, moments, or even the powerful and positive opportunities in my life.

So "right now", I am in a place of pain. Pain in the organ, which drives most everything in my journey called life; my brain. A few months ago, August 2014, I received my sixth (if my memory is correct) traumatic concussive injury to my brain. Today, I visited a neurologist who is referring me to a nearby concussion clinic and is ordering new MRI imaging of my brain.

The pain "right now" is an intense, nauseating pain, which disturbs my vision, thinking, focus, concentration, and all things the brain brings to everyday life. If I did not write, I do not know how I would cope. Some of you, maybe many of you suffering through the same or similar disabling conditions as I, cope in different ways. That is a great thing! I, however, cope through the art and craft of the written word. I am "in-love" with the ability to craft words to explain, encourage, motivate, and in my case, writing for a therapeutic outcome.

I am truly amazed how, even in the midst of dysfunction in my brain, I am able to craft these words for YOU to read and hopefully enjoy. There is no rhyme or reason for this posting, other than the challenge to myself to get out of me, onto this page, to share with you who understand...the status of my difficulties and to allow to escape the pains associated with such dysfunction.

This is an awe-inspired journey...a journey to write my thoughts in an organized manner for the process of therapy. And I am truly enjoying this particular post. The ability in the midst of pain to craft words to this blog, the opportunity as I write to feel pain releasing from my existence. Wow!

"Right now", I am hurting yet alive and full of joy in my ability to transform this page/post from dysfunction to an opportunity for you too join me in excitement and joy in this great art form...journaling!

Thank you for joining me. You may never know how freeing (for me) this "right now" moment is to get out of me in such a "spiritual" way, the pain, which resides within due to my many disabling conditions. 

They are disabling and joyful at this particular moment..."right now"!

This is MY "RIGHT NOW"! 

Samuel Hargrove 

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

NAMI NC Warriors Donation Site

Please help us with a small or LARGE donation...thank you!

Samuel Hargrove

Gulf War and Health: Volume 7. Long-term Consequences of Traumatic Brain Injury